Counting down...

My hubby and I in Virginia Beach!

That time is coming sooner than I expected. Keegan will be here in about two weeks and I haven't even had time to get his room ready!! This pregnancy has been so hard on me, however, I am lucky that K-man is doing great! I found out last week that my amniotic fluid is a little high. Now every week I have to be monitored for about 20 minutes to check is heart beat. Also, over the weekend I was sick and couldn't keep anything down. So about 4am Monday morning I called the doc and she sent me over to Labor and Delivery, also known as The Birthing Inn. We went and had to have fluids and monitor my little man. He is doing well, I was having infrequent contractions and barely dialated, however the pain in my lower stomach is hurting so bad that walking has been a problem since about Friday night. So basically the doctor is ordering rest and keep track of everything. Funny though since I can't really feel the contractions, I don't know how to monitor that!

As for everything else...

My mother-in-law is not coming to the hospital for Keegan's arrival. I don't know how to take that because she is only three hours away and it will be her first grandchild that she gets to see. Yeah my mom will be there, however, emotional support for my husband by his own mother would be awesome. I just don't understand. And she is telling me this stuff over e-mail, and I don't know how to respond to it! Should I just chalk it up to that's how she is or should I tell her how I really feel. But I don't want to be mean. It really hurts my feelings and hurts my husband's too. Even though he is used to it and isn't expecting much from her. Maybe it's because I am pregnant that it is effecting me this much!! Any advice anyone??

Other than all this, RCIA is going well for my hubby and I. We are also praying hard that the right person for our country is elected to become the president. We are praying that whomever it is does not affect the defense budget so we can keep our job and everything else. We are also fighting a court battle with my husbands ex for his son. That is just a very complicated sticky situation. I can not believe how women are when they have custody of a child and are receiving child support. They lie to the child and not let them talk or see their dad. It's just horrible. Especially when you don't know how the child is doing, where they are living, and if they are even healthy!!!! I pray that the money is really being used for him and not for her! A lot of unknowns. It just sucks!!! So if anyone has any advice on anything I wrote about, feel free to e-mail me or post a comment!!

Pregnancy Pics from October!!!

Keegan Lynn, the little K-man

We went to the doctors on Tuesday and little K-man will be arriving November 11th!!! It's not on the 10th, the Marine Corp birthday, like my hubby wanted it, however, it is on Veteran's Day so that makes up for it! We are excited that he is coming and preparing as much as we can. My mom and sister will be coming in for the birth and my mom will be staying for a couple weeks, thank God!!! We visit the hospital this Saturday on the 11th for a tour and to complete early registration. It feels like, though, that it is forever away, even though we have right at a month.
I don't know who all reads this except for my loving, devoted hubby, however any comments, advice, concerns, etc. would be awesome to hear on here. This is kinda a forum for me to release my thoughts and update people on our family. It's kind of therapeutic, but it also helps to hear comments too. Well my sleeping pattern is off, because I sleep mainly in the day, however I am starting to get sleepy, so I will bid ya'll a fair goodnight!!!

Talking about it

I am part of CafeMoms and belong to a group, Spina Bifida Moms. I also recently joined Spina Bifida Connections, a forum-based website for people with SB and those whom have children with SB. Tonight I read a posting about the "Hidden Disability". In this post, people wrote on the challenges of hiding their SB and how it affects their relationships both socially and intimately. These stories are inspiring! This made me tear up!!! I realize that this is what I have done for years.
For many years, I have hidden my SB and not spoken about it with many people. And for a long time the only people that really knew were my family. Eventually I would tell friends, manly girls, in fear of rejection. Gradually, I would tell a select few of the many guys I dated, but really wasn't able to talk about it. I never knew anyone with SB so it was hard for me to relate to anyone about what I was going through. The shame I felt and so many other emotions that I had bottled up inside me.
I eventually broke down and decided to attend a meeting of a local SB chapter in Houston. There I had a mother tell me that "I didn't know what it was like to have SB, because I looked normal". Her son had an extremely severe form of SB which made him wheelchair bound, among other things. This comment hurt me deeply. I did know what it was like to have SB and it was even harder on me because society did see me as "normal". And because of how I looked, I felt the only way to be accepted was to hid my SB.
When I met my husband, I was scared to tell him. We were dating and I really liked him. Here I had this wonderful Marine who I was scared to loose if I did tell him. So, I had a close friend of mine tell him for me. That way the rejection wouldn't be in my face. But, to my surprise, he said okay. He wanted to know more about it. He was interested in knowing what I faced on a daily basis. And so our relationship continued and he fell for my charm, wit, intelligence...okay so I might have casted a spell!!! Eventually, after dating and being best-friends, around 7 years later, we ended up getting married.
Today, my wonderful husband, is more on-top of my medical needs than I am. He watches carefully over me to make sure that I am doing what I need to do daily to live comfortably with SB. He also watches very carefully over my health care to make sure the doctors and nurses are all in-line with what it takes to care safely over me. I really think he knows more than I know!! I am blessed to have found such a wonderful man that accepts me for me and loves me unconditionally. He has made accepting SB and talking about it easier for me. This has been wonderful because it feels like a weight has been lifted from my shoulders. I don't know what I did to deserve him, but I can tell you I am keeping him for a long time!!!!

Stressed

So many things are happening here, I can't even begin to tell you about every single one. We recently moved into a new apartment in a different town. Let me first say I absolutely love this apartment. It is big, 3 bedrooms and 2 baths, with 7 closets!!! Enough room for our expanding family. However, I have yet to fully unpack everything. So the one room has boxes everywhere. And I can't really do this all by myself, because this pregnancy is wearing me out and the most comfortable position for me to be in is laying in bed. That sucks for unpacking, decorating and other various projects.
I also have so many scrapbooking projects that I want to begin, but again my stuff is everywhere!!! I don't know what to do about that either! I am itching to be creative, it feels like I have been stuck in this rut and now I am bursting at the seems just to start. It's always on my mind and I have so many ideas, I just need help getting all of this done. My hubby works and I can't rely on him to do everything, it just isn't fair. It would just be nice to have everything already done. Especially with Keegan arriving in a month!
I just really wish I had some extra help! And it sucks that we really don't know anyone around here. My mother-in-law said she would help us unpack and everything, however that has turned out to be a joke. Twice she bailed on coming to see us/help us! And now that it's October her weekend schedule is just so busy with "all of the dog shows and kennel happenings". She even "has to see" what her schedule looks like for Keegan's birth. This just irritates me. Not to mention upsets my hubby. I just don't know how to deal with her or take her comments. I am hurt by all of this, maybe it's because I'm pregnant, but it just hurts that she doesn't seem to put her son or grandchild first instead of them always taking second to her "dogs". UUUUGGG!!!! Any advice anyone???
I am just right now trying to look at all the positives. I know the apartment isn't finished yet and many things need to be done, however at least Keegan is doing well and my hubby is happy with work and excited about the birth of little K-man! I just have to remember to keep my head up!!!

Lately

Well I went to the new doctor up here for a check up and she seemed to TRY to talk me out of a C-section. Now I didn't go off on her, I let her say what she thought I needed to hear. However, I am not just someone who decides to go with a C-section without reason or research behind it. I am not the type of person that is doing this just so I am not inconvenienced with the birth of my son. I am doing this, because medically I think this is the right choice for my son and I. It just upset me because it came across that she was incapable of performing a C-section because it seemed to high risk. It's a surgery, duh! I know this. It has it's risks and complications but so does having a natural birth. Especially for someone who has as many medical problems as I do.
Other than that, Keegan is doing well. Growing like he should be and his heartbeat is great! He is a little kicker. So I am either going to push soccer or swimming...come to think of it, both would work!!!! :) It looks like he will be here in November now. Somewhere between the 9th and the 19th, depending on how soon they will take him. My lovely husband wants it to be the 10th because that is the Marine Corp birthday. We will see about that. I just know that if that happens my room at the hospital will be full of Marines!!! But he also has K-man's future planned, in which our little boy will grow up to be a strong, honorable Marine like his Daddy!!!

RCIA Class

Tonight we attended our first RCIA class. It was the introduction night and as we went around the circle listening to people's stories, I was in awe. There were three people there from different countries who told their stories of being Catholic or Christian in general, in a country that persecutes religion. These ladies came from Communist and Dictatorship countries. It amazes me how faith can endure that type of environment. These ladies are truly an inspiration.
I also got a little teary-eyed when my husband's turn came and he explained his story. Up until the time my husband meet me, he was truly an atheist. When we met, I invited him to attend Mass with me and to my amazement he said yes. And so his faith journey began. He said some things about me that made me blush. He is so sweet and kind. The funny thing is - many people don't know that about him. They just see this Marine who sometimes has an attitude. However, that is not who he is most of the time. I just wish people could see him through my eyes!
During the entire class, little Keegan - my K-man, decided he was happy that Daddy is becoming Catholic and that we were all in church together, because he became very excited and has not stopped moving since!!! This little guy just can't wait to arrive into the world. He is getting more excited and moving around the closer the day gets. I just wish he would let me get some sleep!!! Keegan truly is a blessing and I wouldn't change any of this!!!

A phone call...

I am laying here in bed watching my husband and puppy sleep. It's so easy for them to sleep, it makes me jealous. With this pregnancy I find myself tired a lot, however, I am only able to sleep a couple hours here and there and mostly throughout the day. It seems to be difficult to sleep at night because Keegan tends to be very active.
Tomorrow night my hubby starts his RCIA classes. These classes teach him about the Catholic faith and lead him to becoming Catholic. On Easter, he will be receiving his sacraments. This is a big step for him and I am so proud of him for taking this giant leap. I am praying that it all works out!!!!
Speaking with a friend of mine today, I realize how much I miss TX. I haven't been able to visit since February and it's hard being away. I listen to what is going on and realize that I want to be there so I don't miss anything and so I can be of support. My friend is going through a difficult time right now with a relationship and all I want is for her to be happy. I don't really have a side in the situation, like a lot of people seem to have, all I care about is her happiness. And that's what I don't understand, when people give advice, why put your two-cents in about how you feel about someone you barely know. Give the person a chance to redeem themselves. Understand that ultimately that person can make your friend happy in the end. That is what is really important. I have no opinion on the gentleman in question, because I don't know him. However, I am realizing that he could possibly make my friend very happy and that is what is important to me. I will support her no matter what!!! I just hope that other friends can do the same. And my philosophy is this...if you are thinking about marrying the person that you are in a relationship with - ask yourself if that person is your best-friend. Can you tell them anything without humiliation or judgement??? And do you know that you are their best-friend??? Then to me, that's who you should be with. It's very simple...at least for me it was!!!! Good luck to my friend...I got your back!!!!